What #TheDress Helped Us Discover

I thought I’d write something about the dress that allegedly ‘broke’ the internet that very fateful day it made its (hideous) début on the social media. But seeing how the social networks were practically swarmed with (hideous) photos and theories of the (hideous) dress and how that made quite a lot of people want to shoot themselves in the head, I changed my mind. And for that kindness I bestowed upon you, yes, you are welcome. But…it’s not like I had nothing to say about it. As was obvious, everybody had something to say about that (hideous) dress! But you cannot expect to have your opinion on issues of such next-level socio-economic and political importance heard (the most perfect, relevant and appropriate example of which is TheDress ) until people cut down on the squabbling and actually start listening for real.

My first reaction to TheDress cannot be exclusively expressed in a literal form. Picture a random cow on a random farm chewing some random fodder on a random day. That is how I felt on the internet-grazing-land. Initially, at least. But that changed in just about 5 minutes. I think that had to do with fact that somebody thought the dress was changing colours on its own. However, my awe at the miraculous manifestations of science lasted as long as Younis Khan’s opening streak. Going off topic, sorry. Along with unravelling the sad reality that white has been blue and gold has been black all this time, here’s a list of bizarre (and hilarious) things that I discovered in the aftermath of this viral phenomenon:

1. While we were all busy contemplating the true colors of a dress that looked like it was sewn in a very local amount of load shedding, people were dealing with some serious real-life crisis: A missing house.

2. The always-so-problematic, insatiable human ego.

3. Talk about cashing in on opportunities.

4. If the dress ever made its way to Pakistan…

5. Human failure, indeed.